A man in New York wore his cat on his head,
His name wasn’t Michael or Thomas or Fred,
In fact, his name was Johnny McCree,
He took the cat with him when he had to pee.
He fed the cat mutton and herring and snail,
He took the cat with him when drinking his ale,
Till one day the bar owner said, “That’s enough,
Get that cat out of here or I’m gonna’ get rough.
“This bar is for drinkin’ a beer, maybe more.
So go on and take that damn cat out the door!”
Johnny looked the bartender right in the eye.
He said, “I’ll tell you a story, I’ll tell you no lie.
“I’ve taken this cat to both Paris and Rome,
And I will take him right out of this god-awful poem,
It’s stupid, it’s crap, a complete waste of time.”
Then he turned and walked out without leaving a dime.
Copyright Hornton Publishing Company. All rights reserved.
Original photo by Paul Stein.