Joe Dumpty, Music Hall Egg
by Mr. Lucas Brice
Humpty Dumpty had a brother,
and the brother’s name was Joe,
He hung out in the backstreets,
where good people wouldn’t go.
His friends were thieves and ruffians,
who lived outside the law,
When the police would try to roust them,
They would fight them tooth and claw.
Joe Dumpty made his living,
inside the music hall,
He did a clever memory act,
He had excellent recall.
Then times got tough and one day,
Joe did not receive his wage,
That’s when Joe Dumpty knew
That it was time to leave the stage.
Robbing banks and burglary,
Was how our Joe would live,
Working was for losers,
Better to receive than to give.
One day when he was thieving,
The police they did arrive,
Joe jumped out of a window,
He was bruised but still alive.
They put our Joe in handcuffs,
And they threw him in a cell,
They said that prison is the place,
Where rotten eggs will dwell.
The judge said “You’re a bad egg, Joe,
I cannot grant you bail,
You are a hard-boiled criminal,
Now you’ll do hard time in jail.”
The trial didn’t last long,
The verdict, it drew cheers,
The judge said, “Guilty! Joseph Dumpty,
I give you thirty years!”
Joe said, “I may be just an egg,
But I’ll give you a scoop,
Soon I’ll be a little bird,
And I will fly the coop!”
Copyright Hornton Publishing Company. All rights reserved. Used with permission.