by Mr. Lucas Brice

I ate a meal the other day and beef was the main course,
The papers said it wasn’t beef, it was Romanian horse,
Nowadays you buy some beef and don’t know what it’s hiding,
I do not want to eat a horse, they’re only good for riding.

Suppliers thought they’d fool me just to save their precious quid,
If this goes on much longer I will take up eating squid,
When I cook up some meat I bought and put it on my table,
I want it to be made of cow and not come from a stable.

When I’m seated at a restaurant, enjoying a fine luncheon,
I do not want to find out that it’s equine I’ve been munchin’.
I paid for beef so give me beef or get out of my way,
I do not want a burger made of horses who ate hay.

If I’m drinking a fine wine and enjoying some beef Wellington,
I do not want to learn it’s really zebra, horse, or pelican.
If you bought some frozen Findus, I’d say, “Just a minute!”
Don’t fire up your microwave until you know what’s in it!

Copyright Mr. Lucas Brice.
Original photo by François Marchal.

Background information for this poem:
Customers who buy the cheapest food are most at danger from tainted meat, says Waitrose boss

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