Pass the Soap

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Pass the Soap
by Mr. Lucas Brice
(apologies to Robert Graves)

I get in the tub.
I grab the soap and give my body a rub!
The bathtub’s a big bathtub; where’s my duck?
That floats and wobbles regardless of my luck,
The soap spins round and round;
I pull the plug and the drain begins to suck…
I wonder what it feels like to be drowned?

I eat some cake,
I eat six hamburgers and drink a chocolate shake,
I burp, and my stomach feels really badly,
I take some Pepcid and my stomach’s churning madly,
It gives me horrible breath.
It makes me wish I’d never eaten, sadly…
I wonder what it feels like to choke to death?

The platform’s dark,
The tube station is filled with people coming from the park.
A wind blows through the station—that’s the effect
Of the next train; an iron locomotive wrecked.
The sound gets loud and fills my brain;
It’s the 9:15, I expect…
I wonder what it feels like to walk in front of a train?

Copyright Hornton Publishing Company. Used with permission.
Original photo by Rob Crow.

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